Men vs. Plants

Hello everyone!


I was having dinner with my girlfriend Courtney the other evening. She’s recently redecorated her house in anticipation of a new roommate. New couch, some throw pillows, a bit of pushing the furniture around- I’ve seen the final product and really quite homey. Somewhere along the line, she brought up her new plant friend. The only bit of green in the living room, but she was entirely perplexed as to how to care for it. Sure, succulents seem to be the latest “trendy plant.” They’re everywhere: mounted on walls in picture frames, in antique punch bowls, and hanging from glass orbs from the ceiling. They’re versatile and pretty spectacular to look at.

There’s only one problem: how are you supposed to take care of them?

I had about as much of a clue as Courtney. I’ve had limited experience with them, but I’m fairly sure they’re really low maintenance. To my knowledge, all you do is spray your succulent with water every week, or so. Her plant’s care instructions simply stated to only water if the soil was dry. Other than that, leave it alone. Both of us were confused: how do you know how it’s doing? It doesn’t appear to be dying, but leaves are falling off? Is this normal? What is the thing feeling?

So I got to thinking…men are very much like plants, aren’t they?

Is it doing alright?

Do I need to water it?

Is it happy where it’s sitting?

Is it getting enough light?

Does it think I’m nagging it? Wait…what?

Within this analogy, I’ll admit that I do not have green thumb. Once I spent an entire winter nurturing a Paperwhite Narcissus; have it grow, never blossom, and then die. It was rather depressing. So, in my experience men come with the same convoluted instructions: check in occasionally, make sure it’s not dead, and water. Oh, and cross your fingers. It’s supposed to be really straightforward, but can be really confusing at times. Personally, I’m used to caring for pets, or spending time with my girlfriends, so anything else is completely new territory to me. My point in all this? Yes, like a plant, a new guy in your life can be a wonderful addition. When you find yourself overthinking things, trust yourself enough to leave it alone. I know it’s hard to believe, but I think it really is that simple.

Also, you’re not alone, girl. Men are strange.


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