Drinks & German Charades

Hello all,

Today, I wanted to write about a little phenomenon I’ve encountered. I’m not sure if I’m entirely abnormal, but I find that, having grown up multilingual, I no longer entirely trust myself to switch from language to language accurately. They all seem to blend together, and I constantly want to substitute one language with another in the same sentence. Even when I reach a certain level of comfort, I second guess myself. During my last trip to Austria, I discovered a bit of a solution.

You see, I just need a few drinks and then my German comes out just fine. In moments of uncertainty, I don’t have a problem asking for help if there’s a word I can’t remember or simply don’t know. The not knowing is always inevitable. I mean, when you’re learning a language, who the hell covers things like “Help! The fuse blew in the basement”?

img_6242img_6259

 Sans drinks, I have a crippling fear of speaking to people like a cave woman, and by this I mean using improper grammar or inadvertently offending someone. The fully sober me will get ready to concoct a sentence, and then the voice in my head yells “THAT’S NOT GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT! Everyone in this country thinks you’re an idiot!” So I’m forced to limit my speech to disjointed sentences or one word answers. “Yes. The food is delicious. No, I’m not at all cold.” It’s quite telling that the one phrase I find myself repeating over and over in a variety of languages is “No, really, I’m full.” This can probably be attributed to the fact that I come from a group of  universally stocky people, who I’m sure secretly harbor the thought that I’m a strange human twig who’s slowly and deliberately starving themselves into nothing. No matter how much food I shovel in, they insist I need to eat more. On my European side of the family this philosophy unfortunately (or fortunately) also applies to alcohol. I can’t honestly think of another family where “You have to finish the whole bottle!” Is an acceptable thing to say to one person…on a Tuesday evening. There’s also half a cake you’re going to have to put away if you want to make it out alive. Try not to fall down on your way out to the car. Given that there are no  streetlights and a lot of ditches you can fall into, this makes this normal task about 800 times trickier. 

fullsizerender-26

One evening, after describing what an avocado was to my grandmother for a short period of time, I finally figured out that the German word for avocado was “avocado,” but with a German accent. I’m considering the 10 minutes of my life that I spent performing some sort of weird German charades a total waste. I wrangled all of my vocabulary together to attempt to relay the message: “No, it’s not a fruit, it the other thing… It’s soft, and green, and has a big seed thing in the middle. They put it in sushi!!” (Because sushi is a great reference point for people who have lived in the Austrian countryside their whole lives and still slaughter pigs in their yard.) This was all followed by me making the shape of an avocado repeatedly in the air, like it was going to help. Granted when you’re have two beers and fours glasses of wine in you, it seems really effective. 

Despite having spoken it for the better part of my life, I still find that German is not an easy language. But, sometimes, things are a lot simpler than they seem. A bit of liquid courage can help and not being afraid to fail is always a good start. 

EVA♥

Thoughts from a Jet-Lagged Brain

Hello all!

Watch Me Juggle is back in the lovely state of California once again. As much as I enjoy my world travels, I’m happy to be back in the land of unending wifi and to-go cups of coffee. Before I essentially force all of you to look at my vacation photos, I thought I would share some of the utter nonsense that crossed my mind during my travels. While I knew before now that jet-lag existed, I never remembered experiencing it with such…intensity. Coupled with an abrupt break from an intense work schedule and the general unpredictability of air travel, it was like someone had turned the filter off of my ability to think rationally.

fullsizerender-18

Take my foray through airport security for instance. As I stepped out of the X-ray machine and moved to put my jacket back on, a TSA agent took me aside. I had had blood drawn earlier that day, and the band-aid was still firmly plastered to my arm. It was at this point the agent asked to see my bandaid. I tentatively stuck out my arm, wondering what could have aroused her suspicion so much that my band-aid was questionable. I was tempted to pull it off and hand it to her, but something about that felt socially unacceptable. While I’m on the topic of socially unacceptable behavior, a friend of mine recently informed me that people are statistically more apt to cry on planes. I’m grateful that she shared this with me, because about two hours into my flight, I found myself having the following inner-dialogue:

Brain: This movie has feelings. Cry. Now.
Me: No brain. I’m in public, and on a plane. This is not only socially unacceptable, but makes everyone, including me, uncomfortable. 
Brain: Cry now.
Me: It’s “Finding Dory” for God’s sake. Seriously?! A children’s movie about a fish— they don’t even have facial expressions! What are we crying about?! 

 

Luckily, my brain compromised, and instead allowed me to pretend I had mascara in my eyes for 15 minutes. I’ve decided that jet lag is a bit like being drunk. Except it’s not at all fun, and you have to be out in public with your grandma whilst pretending you know what’s going on around you. Let’s not forget constantly feeling like you can’t blink and might fall over.

img_6232

I tried to force myself to adapt to the time zone as much as possible. I stayed up late and had after dinner drinks in an effort to coax myself to sleep. Instead, I found myself wide awake, either reading or typing nonsense on my phone in the middle of the night. I’m just glad I saved enough of these thoughts so I could share the bizarre nonsense that is me at 1am. I hope you find them as strangely amusing as I did. So, without further ado, I give you thoughts from my jet-lagged brain:

  • I can only have one arm above my covers when sleeping. Not two. Two and the monsters will get me. None, and I will suffocate. I’m serious. It’s science…or something. 
  • When on family vacations, always sleep in a room with a door that locks. Lest you wake up with your grandmother sitting on the end of your bed asking you what you would like for breakfast or someone’s hand in your face (my mother recently pulled this and scared the living daylights out of me). When there someone who isn’t you, in your space. They can be one of two things: an intruder or a well-meaning intruder checking to see if you’re still breathing. Either way, this is not reassuring in any sense. Boundaries people. We have them. 
  • When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes mixed with biodegradable glitter (the kind they make out of seaweed). It would be a gorgeous and environmentally friendly sendoff. There also needs to be drinks. 
  • European churches are really intense. Sure, there’s gold and stuff, but where did all the decorative skulls come from? It’s good that we teach kids about death, but if I had been exposed to graphically crucified Jesus so much as a child I would have been slightly traumatized. Also, with all this intensity I half expect the “Shame!” lady from “Game of Thrones” to come after me at any moment. 
  • Do people’s’ ribcages move around? For example, does one side ever get stuck overlapping on the other? Because I feel like mine does, which would explain the awkward uneven sticking out it tends to do. I know there’s a lot of cartilage in there, but it’s level of pliability is questionable. It has a job that needs doing. 

And, lastly:

  • What if the Internet breaks and all my writing disappears? Must check on writing.  Must print out hundreds of pages of nonsense too, just in case. 

 

EVA♥

Time Capsule

Hello everyone!

I feel like it completely dates me, but I recall setting up my Facebook account for the first time using my very new @Umail.UCSB.edu email address. It was the equivalent of an online high school alumni group with basic features, photos, and messaging. Fast-forward several years and Facebook has somehow grown into a multi-billion dollar industry. I would never have even imagined that my job would one day revolve around Facebook. It’s a very odd thing to think about. Speaking of odd things…
Has anyone ever searched “On This Day” on their Facebook recently? You might also know it as the little “memory” window that shows up on your newsfeed first thing on any given day, a social media time-capsule of sorts.  This morning, I was reminded that a year ago today I was given a whole new (retainer-free!) smile.
screen-shot-2016-10-13-at-10-39-52-am
Quite the thing to commemorate! (You can find the post here, if you’re curious about my crazy tooth story.) On the complete opposite end of the spectrum apparently 10 years ago on Facebook I was….
screen-shot-2016-10-13-at-10-40-48-am
What the heck kind of nonsense is this Facebook? 10 years ago, as a sophomore in college, my status was apparently “at home?” Did Facebook even have a status back then? What is that!? I’m still very perplexed by this, and irked that part of me might never know what 19 year old Eva was thinking.
A less perplexing memory came from the year before last, where I was in the midst of a blogging kick, aka “Blogtober,” and finding myself with a little extra time on my hands. Making my very favorite soup is still my favorite way to celebrate the change in weather.
screen-shot-2016-10-13-at-10-40-07-am
Of course, we all have those very deep, quote-filled Facebook moments to look back on. Before Watch Me Juggle, I enjoyed posting the occasional Khalil Gibran or Rumi quote on my page. Seeing this one in particular brought all kinds of memories back…
screen-shot-2016-10-13-at-10-40-37-am
A strange thing happens when you get older that no one ever tells you about. Without school to keep tabs on your life’s progress, everything sort of blends together. The last five years, in particular, feel like an odd blur. While I still live in the same apartment, I’ve worked a variety of jobs, and had people come and go in my life. I’m certainly glad things turned out the way they did.

(She’s back! Juggling away, as always)

Watchmejuggle

EVA ♥

Flatlining

Hello all!

Occasionally, I do this thing I like to call “flatlining.” When you think about the origins of this term, it can be rather morbid, but it’s something I like to use flippantly. Most of the time, I flatline when I’m feeling under-stimulated, or underwhelmed. This kind of flatline usually takes place in front of some sort of screen…where I can feel my brain cells slowly disintegrating. You know that feeling…either too many hours spent in front of the tv, your work computer, or on your phone.

uhdrl

Exhibit A: The flatline

 As someone who likes to continuously stay busy, I tend to have this exact reaction once my life slows down a bit. Everything comes to a complete stop. It might be worrisome behavior, but, at best, I’m sure it’s entertaining to observe. Add the fact that I live alone on top of this, and all my speaking abilities go out the window. Try not to ask me any questions (especially before coffee!), unless you need a ridiculous response that takes 10 minutes to formulate.

“Flatlining” isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, I schedule this kind of downtime for myself. If you move your incoherent self to a beach or poolside, suddenly it’s called a vacation. Add an omelette and a mimosa on a Sunday and you suddenly have brunch! You can go for a hike, or go shopping while flatlining too.  There are endless possibilities, but they’re all intended to give you a break.

IMG_5207

Nothing says “Please flatline here!” quite like an empty pool on a Sunday morning.

IMG_5206 (1)

This past week, I spent several mornings just laying by the pool. There, I quite literally do nothing aside from apply sunscreen, lay down, and chat with the boss lady. (Sunscreen is key here, everyone! I learned this the hard way. At one point, when I pulled my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose, I was left with a red racing stripe. Reapply!)Earlier last week, I spent some time in the salon where I also zoned out to the point where I almost fell asleep. Luckily my hairstylist likes to make me work for my hair, there’s enough standing up and sitting down to keep me occupied for a few hours. While it might seem rather boring for some people, it’s times like these that somehow make me feel more refreshed and ready for the week ahead. Seeing as I have a less than typical schedule nine months out of the year, my summer schedule tends to be the reverse of what is true for most people. I head into a standard 9-to-5 day in the office, while most people plan vacations and take some time off. While having a fluctuating schedule can be really refreshing, I sometimes tend to get too wrapped up in going about a standard routine and completely forget to make time for things that are intellectually and physically stimulating, or just plain old fun. Lately, I’ve turned into the person who comes home, has dinner, and unintentionally falls asleep sitting up at 9pm while watching the latest reality tv drivel. I like to say that the first step in changing a situation is simply acknowledging whatever it is that needs changing. Well, it’s almost halfway through the summer and I haven’t nearly started doing all the things I’ve wanted to do. Join a gym, go to a ballgame, try a new workout class, take more dance classes…the list goes on. None of these things are particularly daunting, but it certainly involves a little bit of initiative, and a whole lot less flatlining.

Baby steps!

EVA♥

Are Bloggers Narcissistic?

Hey all!

insta

Today, I wanted to write a little something about my thoughts on a topic obviously near and dear to my heart. The online blog world is something that I’ve been fascinated with for a good long while now- I started my blog after following countless others, immersing myself in the carefully curated world each portrayed. While I loved reading exceptionally professional blogs, it was the world of the “20-something” blogger that fascinated me the most. These were, understandably, the most relatable. I commiserated with their stories of dating disasters, nightlife adventures (or lack thereof), and the latest in style and beauty. With all these candid glimpses into other people’s lives saturating the internet, you sometimes wonder what the motivation behind it all is. Is it really about the writing and sharing life experiences, or are bloggers just narcissistic?

Sure, everything is always “I, I, I, Me, Me, I think, I did, I wore…” What else would one expect when reading something that’s purposely centered around another person’s life? A lot of people credit this phenomenon to the Millennial generation, because all of us are apparently hell-bent on oversharing our lives on some sort of social media. I’ve heard people joke that if you didn’t share about it on Facebook/Snapchat/Twitter/Instagram did it ever really happen? But, does everyone need to know about your new haircut? Where you went this weekend? What you think about that tube of lipstick? I wonder if any bloggers out there feel as if their readers are waiting with bated breath for them to post their latest goings-on, all while waiting for some sort of validation so they can continue doing what they’re doing. I would like to think that many, like me, wonder if anyone out there is even reading their little corner of the internet, and why? While I was thinking about these things earlier, I came across this article on Culture Witness. Writer Lea Singh suggests that, to avoid falling into that dreaded narcissistic headspace, bloggers should “approach writing posts like writing magazine articles or newspaper columns, because a blog is a self-published periodical, not a private space, and it should not be kept in the belief that is a mere record for ourselves or our friends and families.”

If this is the case, perhaps I’ve failed miserably here; I enjoy posting about my mundane life events and sharing my most random thoughts. But, like what drew me to blogs initially, it helps to connect, to know that you’re not entirely alone in your experiences. I admittedly try not to overshare, and spend quite a bit of time thinking about (overthinking?) what I write- there are plenty of things in my life that I don’t plan on posting all over the internet anytime soon. There certainly might be more than a fair share of bloggers that can be categorized as self-obsessed, but I also believe there are those who display integrity and share their personal experiences without pretense. I hope to categorize myself with the latter, despite the occasional selfie post.

Until next time!

EVA♥

I Survived 10 Days Without Internet

Hello all!

Remember my last post on First World Problems? I guess you could categorize this as one of those…

IMG_3855

It happened, I’m not sure why, but it did. I came home from a long day at work, attempted to turn on the tv  to catch up on my favorite show, and…nothing. After many frustrating phone calls back and forth with Comcast, we had determined that my modem was shot. Dead. Done. Finito.  I had no cable and no internet access; what was originally anticipated to last only a few days went on for almost two weeks. As someone who loves constant background noise (I wake up to my favorite radio talk show, I cook with my favorite sitcoms on in the background, I put my makeup on to music) the sudden silence felt a bit deafening. What’s more, I could barely send and receive text messages. In today’s hyper-connected society, I was in the equivalent of a black hole. What was happening on Instagram without me?! What happened on the last episode of Game of Thrones?! As disarming as it felt, there wasn’t really much I could do about it.

So, I tried to make the most out of the quiet time. When I first moved into my apartment years ago, I spent several weeks without internet access (and furniture, for that matter) and was rather creative with my time. I organized my kitchen cabinets, gave myself manicures, and watched all of my favorite classic movies over and over again. This time around, I used a bit of the time to catch up on chores, and treated myself to a few Redbox dvd rentals. The closest Redbox to my house conveniently happens to be close to a 7-11. I might have ducked in for movie-watching snacks more than once. With access to Netflix and Comcast On Demand, I almost never rent movies. During this last stretch, however, I watched a number of great ones: Elizabeth, Far from the Madding Crowd, Atonement, Crimson Peak, and Pixar’s Inside Out; all of which I would highly recommend.

At one point, I busted out an old radio to listen to in the mornings while I got ready for work. It was a little scratchy sounding, but at least I didn’t have to worry about burning through all of my data! I poured through my cook books and threw together some delicious dinners and desserts. I finished the book I had been reading and cracked open a new one, with 800 pages to entertain me. I went out for cups of coffee, took a few yoga classes, and went to bed at a reasonable hour every night. When I finally got reconnected, I didn’t feel my usual impulse to turn on the tv every time I entered my home. Who would have thought that resetting my cable would turn into a whole mental reset? As much as I missed the music and the noise over the last 10 days, I suddenly feel more comfortable with the silence. I was initially worried it would all make me feel a bit anxious, but instead, I can curl up with a book, and it feels better than alright. With unplugging, although involuntarily, I’ve been reminded that I can enjoy my own company, fully and without distraction. Hey! If you ever get bored, you can always talk to yourself!

Just kidding…

EVA♥

Life Lately

Hi all!

I was scrolling through the camera roll on my phone the other day and suddenly realized that I had accumulated a number of memes, all with a bit of a theme. It’s been a while since I’ve done a “Life Lately” post on Watch Me Juggle, so here goes nothing!

….

Like most people, I spend at least half of my time in front of some sort of little screen, which can be exhausting at times, to say the least. Sometimes it’s for work, sometimes it’s for fun, but I feel like I’m plugged in at all times. I’m most definitely one of those people who likes to have background noise, which has somehow turned into having one or more devices running at any given time- TV, laptop, iPhone, sometimes all three. I recently stumbled across Tony Schwartz’s article in the New York Times that talks about our “addiction to distraction,” and suddenly feel much less like a crazy person. Apparently, spending so much time online and connected to social media can legitimately unbalance you. Are any of you plagued by this same need for distraction? It can suck, sometimes.

brain-has-too-many-tabs

Photo c/o littlelessy.com

Going forward, I’m hoping to unplug a bit more. Read more. Do more yoga.

I’d like to say that I’m adept at juggling (hence the blog name, ha!) but a lot of the time, I feel as if I fail epically. I honestly enjoy being busy, but sometimes I realize I busy myself with total nonsense, rather than things of quality. In those moments when I find myself with nothing to do, rather than enjoy, I feel the urge to find more things to juggle. You know…Watch Me Stare at-my-phone-do-dishes-make-coffee-perfect-my-eyeliner-technique-while-mentally-deciding-what-else-needs-doing-dance-around….

giphy

For example, most normal humans have an alarm set to wake them up in the mornings, yes? Well, I recently had to set an alarm for myself as a reminder to go to sleep. Somehow, 10:45pm hits each night and I suddenly get the urge to watch every video ever created on Youtube, while spontaneously planking in my living room, baking cookies, and dancing to trap music like it’s not a Tuesday night. I usually wake up feeling like death the next day- big surprise. You think I would figure it out, but your guess is as good as mine. Thank goodness for the Nespresso.

In other news, I seem to have become an utter magnet for odd behavior as of late. Let’s call it confused serendipity. Running into people I haven’t seen in ages, ridiculous emails at work, general weirdness you name it. Just today, I received a “receipt” in my inbox for a supposed purchase that was paid for in….wait for it…$675 in meatballs. I’m sorry: WHAT?! How is this happening?!

It’s the odds of strange things like this happening in succession, and to me in particular, that is baffling. I couldn’t make some of this stuff up if I tried. Luckily, I have side-eye Chloe, who’s reaction is appropriate for all occasions:

FullSizeRender (1)

Please make it stop, kthanks.

On a more positive note, I have been able to see quite a bit of the ballet this season, and have been enjoying it immensely. I’m hoping it kick-starts what feels like my rather sluggish creativity. Although, after last night’s performance, I did have a dream that one of the San Francisco Ballet dancers invited me to a swanky party, and then called me “chubby.” Not exactly morale-boosting.

FullSizeRender

Oddly enough, it helps to have some great people around that feel the same way about things. I feel as if I’m very much at an age where, if things are going differently from the way you planned them, you don’t advertise it. But, it’s reassuring to know that the people I’m close to can tell me that they’re sometimes unsure of things, or have equally bad days and can commiserate with my attempts at positivity (see above!). I recently went out dancing with a few of my girlfriends for the first time in a long time, and had so much fun- yelling along to the lyrics of the songs, laughing, meeting new people. Life may never be totally perfect, but I’m glad I am where I am, knowing nothing is ever set in stone, and doing whatever makes me genuinely happy is tantamount to living well.

In the meantime, you can always make yourself a cocktail while you get it together.

Cheers!

EVA♥

Why Saying ‘No’ Makes You A Better Person

Hello everyone!

I was stuck in the traffic that is my morning commute and found myself utterly bored. Because texting and driving is heavily frowned upon, I just let my mind wander. I’ve been thinking a lot of deep things about life lately:”What am I going to make for dinner?” “What if I could have gotten that cheaper on eBay?” You know, the usual. So, it surprised me that among the many deep things that I was pondering, I came across what feels like a gem. I like to joke about my lack of “adult” behavior here quite a bit, but I recently realized that there are some very adult things I do on a daily basis that I don’t give that much thought to anymore.  One thing I’ve noticeably become more confident doing over the last few years is simply saying ‘No.’ 

phoebegif

zoeygif

Usually the word ‘no’ has some really strong connotations that come with it. If you say it too often you must be a negative, stubborn, selfish, uncaring, immature person, right?  The awful adjectives could go on and on. We assign it to toddlers, young people with zero-self awareness prone to pitching fits. But, it’s taken me a while to realize that it can be a positive thing too. ‘No’ is appropriate for many occasions, not all of them bad. When it comes to making friends and building relationships I’ve learned to be a little more discerning. Sometimes it’s not the easiest thing to do, but if you have people in your life that you’re incompatible with, or who don’t add much of anything positive, you can say no to them. Be honest, be kind, but still, say no. It’s a much more mature way of going about things than picking fights or leaving them hanging.

You work life might similarly benefit from your new word. Be realistic, if you find yourself running into problems or limitations, you can say no, and maybe spur some change.  It’s perhaps not the most optimistic way of thinking about things but, as someone who isn’t terribly opinionated or outspoken, saying no can empower you in certain situations. Of course, I’m not saying that simply saying no all the time is a realistic way of getting things done, or an effective way of getting out of doing things you don’t want to do. It is important, however, to use it as a tool when you feel yourself deviating from the path you want to go. I realize there’s quite a lot of irony to be found in my writing this, as I’m pretty sure I went on a tirade on Saying ‘Yes’ to things a mere few months ago. With gifs and all! They’re weirdly similar- just two sides of the same coin. The ultimate moral of the story is to take a stand for the things you can do, and want to do, and don’t be afraid! Saying no can be a means of sticking up for yourself, really. If you’re able to draw these lines for yourself, I suspect you might garner some respect from the people you would least expect it from. I hate to say it, but you might have a little more respect for yourself, too.

That’s all for now! I’ll be back soon with more incredibly deep things.

EVA ♥

Don’t Sell Yourself Short

Hello dear readers!

Longtime no…write? As usual, I’ve been off on adventures, this time to the single’s motherland: Las Vegas. Don’t worry, the “what happens in Vegas” rules don’t apply in this case- stay tuned for all the reasons I enjoy visiting Sin City so much. And, in case you were wondering, Yes, it was really hot out there.

Today, I was inspired to write for a number of different reasons. When I get back from vacation, regardless of where I’m going, I tend to get a bit introspective about life, in general. Relaxing and thinking about the day’s interactions also helps pass up the otherwise tedious commute hours. But, what primarily got the wheels turning was a conversation I had with one of my girlfriends today. Now, I can only speak from experience, but there seems to be an epidemic of bright, talented young women out there who are self-deprecating to a fault. Disparaging might be a better word for it. I consider myself very lucky to have such wonderful friends, they’re all ladies that I admire, and they have qualities that I aspire to embody. It completely baffles me when they turn around and fixate on the few things they dislike about themselves, or compare themselves to other people. Of course, being on the outside, it’s easy for me to tell them that they’re absolutely crazy, that they have so much to be proud of and that the people in their lives think so highly of them. It’s interesting that our friends almost always, in so many words, think we’re selling ourselves short.

cheerup

I’m going to go ahead and throw this piece of advice out there:

Don’t sell yourself short. Period.

Surprise, surprise, like most pieces of “helpful” advice, this is easier said than done. Sometimes, you even need to stand up for yourself a little bit, like Karen Walker over here:

karenwalkersecrets

karenfabulous

I had a little bump in the road a while back, and no one was more surprised than me when I, quite literally stood up for myself and announced: “Um, wait. I’m amazing!” As women, we’re told not to brag, not to tell people what to do, or how it is, but when did this manifest into sabotaging our own self-confidence? Just because a relationship or job isn’t the best for us, doesn’t mean that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us. It takes quite a bit of self-assessment to figure this out, and that certainly isn’t easy. It’s possible, though. Like I’ve said before, there will always be things in our lives that we will want to “upgrade,” or paths we occasionally wish we had taken. But, sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves, because no one else can really do it for us.

EVA♥

That Voice No One Likes

Hello everyone!

It’s been the usual in Watch Me Juggle land. All the juggling! Yet, despite having many fun and exciting things to do, places to go, and people to see, I’ve noted the little “Negative Nancy” voice in my head that likes to inject her fabulous commentary to everything lately. Take a few of the following scenarios for example:

Trying out a new trend? “Yeah, you look really stupid in that,” she says, “Your friends have children, seriously, put a real shirt on.”

negative nancy

C/o SNL/ giphy.com

(Just in case you didn’t know, Nancy is a dead ringer for Rachel Dratch as Debbie Downer.)

Wake up feeling motivated and plan a workout? “You’re way too old for that, seriously, look at your face in the morning. You might scare children. Stay inside. Eat a doughnut. Eat six doughnuts, who cares?!”

That guy you like not text you back in the acceptable 35 second time frame? Nancy says: “He totally got your text. He just thinks you’re really lame. Oh, and annoying.”

Open your mouth in the meeting, and the person in charge threatens to hit you with a stick…wait, no, that actually happened. But Nancy adds that, like she said before, “you’re obviously really annoying.” Just in case you already didn’t feel like a bozo.

lizgif

C/o NBC via college-life-crisis.tumblr.com

For lack of a better descriptor, Nancy is an ass and no one should ever listen to her.  I know I’m not alone in feeling this way- everyone has that voice, though it might take on different forms. Who doesn’t remember seeing a cartoon from their childhood with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other? It’s the age-old “Should I?/Shouldn’t I?” dilemma. Who and what, for that matter, should I be listening to? Unfortunately, the theory behind these cute cartoons can’t be left behind in your childhood- odds are they will follow you around for quite sometime. I don’t think there’s too much rhyme or reason to when the negativity creeps in, but it somehow does. As someone who manages frequent anxiety, the absolute worst seems to be when nothing, in fact, is wrong. It seems like a terribly sad thing that I sometimes can’t enjoy the little things going well in life. For example, I was in a fantastic, productive mood the other day, coming home after running some errands; there’s Negative Nancy, reminding me of the latest mishap, or presenting some worst-case-scenario. Sometimes it’s as ridiculous as “Oh, you’re happy now, but remember, you have to go to the dentist in a month!” or “Hey, you never know when you might get hit by a bus!” I wish I was making this stuff up.  It’s the classic good-versus-evil, glass half-empty of half-full  metaphor that we all know and love. What makes me feel better, even in the lowest moments, is that so many people can relate. I’d like to think that even Beyoncé has those days. (She did have that one mishap with her bangs a while back, if you do recall.) Then again, even Michelle Obama wants to be Beyoncé, so this might be a total assumption on my part.

beyonce careless gif

C/o fiercegifs.tumblr.com

What helps me the most in these moments is being the anti-Nancy, so to speak. Turn your focus to something inherently positive, even it’s a simple, good cup of coffee or the latest dog gif making its rounds on the internet. Reach out to a friend, someone you trust, or go for a walk. I know none of these things are revolutionary or extraordinary methods of problem solving, but they tend to help when reason goes out the window, and they sure do make Nancy pipe down for a while.

Or you can just pretend to be your own version of Beyoncé in the meantime. That sounds like a plan, right?

EVA♥