Dear Little Eva,
It’s me: Adult Eva, from the future. (Could this get weirder? I think not. Just go with me on this…)
I may be 22 years older than you, but I’m still figuring things out. Life can be all sorts of confusing, and there’s always some crazy new thing that gets thrown at you. I’m not saying that I haven’t picked up a few gems of wisdom along the way. So, here are some tidbits of advice that might help you out:
- Half your head is bangs. Get a trained professional to fix this ASAP.
- While very endearing, red and pink are not quite the same color. You’ll figure this out eventually.
- Always, always, always wear shorts under your dress. Those metal slides will burn your butt something awful.
- I know you’re coming right out of the 80’s, but try to wear some real pants every-once-in-a-while. You’ll have your whole adulthood to live in Lululemon leggings. Amazing, right?
- There’s nothing scary under the bed or in the closet, but it doesn’t hurt to check.
- Sliding on parquet flooring in your tights is really fun- just say no. Loosing teeth is a really big hassle.
- Yes, some bushes have berries. No, it doesn’t mean you should eat them. Save your mother the freak-outs please.
- And speaking of freak-outs, stop taking your emotional cues from adults. They’re not the end-all-be-all, and can overreact at times. If anyone hasn’t told you this yet: everything is going to be fine.
- Also…pennies. Quit eating pennies. It’s not attractive.
Remember that you’re a good kid, no matter how hard other people might be on you, and quit being hard on yourself. You’re a brave and spunky little person, and you should be proud of it. Also, good job on the good grades and the being nice to people. One day you’ll look back at your younger self, full of nostalgia, and be happy with the way things went. So, enjoy!