Retrospective Monday

Hello everyone.

Today, I wanted to talk to you about some things that I’ve been thinking about recently. I’ve always been a big worrier- always excessively conscientious. Even when positive things come my way, I worry without reason. I’d like to say that I don’t care what other people think, but that’s not nearly true. On the other hand, I’ve never been one to sit around and let other people tell me what to do.

Sometimes it’s so excessively difficult to be confident with the decisions you make. A lot of my personal anxiety comes from the “what if…what if…what ifs?” of daily life. There are some days where I have to talk myself down, and struggle to go about my routines. It’s living moment to moment: just get up, and make some coffee. Now, go wash your face, pick out something to wear, go outside. And on and on… It always gets better, but I wonder if it ever gets easier. Life has a tendency to lob random things at your head, hell, one day my leg might fall off and I might not ever be able to dance again. You never know. I tell myself these things to keep a solid perspective. A close friend of mine is always so positive when it comes to these things, and I asked her where she gets all her good energy from. She, like any of us, has plenty of things to worry or be upset about.  She shared some insight with me, but one of the things that stood out to me was this gem (funnily enough, found on said friend’s Pinterest board):

Women in black dress crying

 When you, like me, get lost in the “what ifs,” know that life is meant to work out exactly the way it is. Unfortunately, you can’t always pin your happiness on the people in your life, that dream job, or perfect home. I’m sorry, it just doesn’t work like that. You set yourself up for a lot of undue pain that way. Life is going to be messy, occasionally.  That being said, I don’t have all the answers- far from it. All I know, the kind of knowledge you have deep in your bones, is that everything is going to be ok.

Just some thoughts.


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