The Things Women Do to Themselves

Hello everyone!

I’ve written about beauty-type things on Watch Me Juggle here and there. As a few of you know, I’ve been semi-blonde for a few years now, and just about once a year, I have a major hair “overhaul.” It’s five hours of pulling, parting, teasing, bleaching, and then detangling the whole mess. I try not to fall asleep, and often end up helping my hairstylist, who is meticulous to a fault.

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This is the face of good, blonde hair. I try to tell myself that breathing is secondary- it’s the perfect place for a nap, really.


In my delirium, I thought that this selfie would be a good idea. All those bleach fumes and having at least 4 pounds of foil weighing down my scalp must have impeded my judgement.

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The final product. I kept touching my hair and tossing it around like an idiot. Apparently sitting still for 5 hours while someone literally paints individual strands of your hair is worth feeling like a Disney princess.

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Things like this make me think about the things that women voluntarily do to themselves, usually on a regular basis. When think about these things in a different context, they really do sound insane. Things like:

  • Gluing individual hairs to each of our eyelashes to make them look longer
  • Having our faces covered in tattoos just so we can #iwokeuplikethis
  • Wearing shoes so incredibly painful that the soles of your feet blister
  • Voluntarily pouring hot wax on our faces/legs/everywhere in order to rip out all our hair
  • Clipping other people’s hair onto our head in strips and pretending that it’s ours
  • Routinely applying acid to our faces so we can look younger and “dewy”
  • Using an overpriced pencil to draw on the inside of your eyelids

Gentlemen, have you ever touched the inside of your eyelid? Overall, it’s really not an enjoyable feeling.

But, you know what? Five hours later we’re going to emerge from the salon and mentally justify all the time and money we spent in there. Oddly enough, it’s not a tricky justification to make. We all have things that we enjoy investing in, whether it be a special pair of shoes or a spa treatment, what might not be deemed “necessary” to someone might make all the difference in the world to another. It might make you feel more confident, happier, whatever! There’s something special about allowing yourselves to indulge in some of these completely ridiculous rituals.  Believe it or not, I so look forward to the whole process of having my hair done. I walk in feeling slightly dilapidated, usually in sweats or an old shirt, and can leave with Victoria Secret angel hair. Not everyone will notice the newness of your hair, or your eyelashes or smooth skin, but they will notice the confidence boost it gives you. A lot of us can’t stop talking about Kylie Kardashian’s enhanced lips, or Hilary Duff’s veneered teeth, or some other celebrity’s butt. Seriously? Not everyone is going to understand you or your style, heck, I had someone scoff at my hair the day after I had it done. Long story short, if it makes you happy, no matter how crazy it might seem, go for it. You do you, ladies.

I’m blonde now!


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