The Consolation Prize

Hello all!

consolation prize

(Can you tell I’ve been really into gifs lately? Who doesn’t like GIFs? Yes, Eva, welcome to the 21st century…)

Today, I wanted to share with you about a little life phenomenon I’ve come to appreciate lately. I call it the “consolation prize.” Yes, it’s exactly like what it sounds like.

I came to appreciate the existence of the consolation prize years ago; I was out to sushi with a girlfriend of mine, and something specific on the menu caught my eye. I used to never order seaweed salad, well, just because I always thought pure seaweed was a surefire way to trigger my gag-reflex if I’ve ever heard of it. But, I had somehow come to really enjoy it. A man I had dated once had insisted on ordering it whenever we went out for Japanese food. I don’t think I would have ever tried it of my own volition had it not been for him. It’s delicious. That being said, I made the crack to my friend that if there was one positive thing that had come from my previous relationship it was my awareness of the existence of seaweed salad.

It’s sort of sad to say, but when we emerge from tough situations, whether it be a less-than ideal job or partner, sometimes all we can do is try to find a little bit of the silver lining. This might not happen overnight, hell, when I left my first “real” desk job, I had a difficult time finding the prize. I felt a little bit like I had given up, that I had flunked out of adult-land, knowing that a rigorous desk job in a corporate setting wasn’t really for me. Oddly enough, I came away  from that job with better relationship with my father. Being at the same company, in vastly different departments, he would walk by my desk, find me buried in paperwork, and insist on taking me to lunch. We weren’t speaking very much at the time, and rarely saw each other outside of work, but, after a year, our conversation became a lot more than just about the weather. In a strange way, we bonded over work. The same thing goes with most relationships that don’t work out the way you hope they will. Some of the best things that have come out of some of my dating mishaps were wonderful restaurants, the discovery of new neighborhoods, or a really great pair of shoes. I try not to let how I’ve come about these things color my opinion of them.

The boss lady always tells me that much of your quality of life, of who you are as a person, has to do with how you deal with disappointment. Sure, I’m not going to tell you that I’ve never locked myself inside, drank a ton of champagne, and spent some time lying face down on the floor. A lot of things in life straight up suck. They suck, and there’s not very much you can do about it. I think people don’t tell you this often, but sometimes it’s true. However, you can pick yourself up, and find yourself with that consolation prize. You can change your bad experience into a decent, maybe even good one.

You can do it!


Because I’m a Lady…

Hello all!

Today’s post is going to be on the rather rambly side, which is probably not that much of a surprise to many of you, dear readers. I’m sure many of you internet dwellers can relate to the ever-popular lists, like the ones you find all over Buzzfeed? You know, things like “29 Important Lessons Jane Austen Taught You About Love,” or “21 London Street Foods You Must Try.” One of my recent favorites has to be “19 Inanimate Objects That Perfectly Sum Up Your Hangover.” Who has time to think of this stuff? Oh, wait, that’s right people like me….nevermind.

Anyway, the boss lady likes to occasionally send me funny or inspirational little emails, two of which found their way to my inbox this morning. While obstinately insisting on staying in bed, I had some time to read them and was very much inspired. One that particularly struck me came from James Michael Sama’s blog, and detailed the “12 Things You Should Expect When Dating a Strong Woman.” Unlike many similar articles I’ve read, this one seemed, well, realistic. Rather than focusing on over-arching generalizations, everything was refreshingly relatable. In a nutshell: no indecisiveness, flakiness, or disrespect will be tolerated. Of course, you would hope that most of these things would be a given, however, I have all too often found otherwise. I decided that I would elaborate with a few of my own personal, albeit slightly whimsical “strong woman” characteristics:

  • I’m a lady and I’m true to my word. If I’ve given you my word on something or made plans with you, I’m following through with it. Hence, last-minute cancellations are not acceptable.
  • I will continually expect the best from people (though sometimes to my own detriment). The people I have in my life reinforce this expectation, they’re all pretty great.
  • I may walk fast, with my large handbag bashing into you, but I still want you to hold my hand. A true gentleman will also always stand on the side of traffic. This is not difficult.
  • I’m a grown woman. I can pump my own gas, carry my own groceries, and assemble my own furniture. However, this does not mean that I do not appreciate someone who can lend a helping hand.
  • I don’t have much to hide. Sure, everyone has their insecurities, but if my face without makeup perturbs you, look elsewhere. I’m comfortable with myself and like to keep similar company.
  • I think it was Malcolm Forbes who said that “you can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” How you treat the wait staff, children, and the elderly says a lot about you. Rudeness and sullenness is never attractive.
  • I’m not impressed by material things, name-dropping, etc. I find integrity, passion, and kindness to be the most admirable qualities in a person.

These are, perhaps, just the tip of the iceberg. Ladies, don’t let anyone make you feel badly about having your standards. Even better, if you stick to them, you’ll find yourself surrounded with the kind of people that you really want to be with.

And, because I’m so much of a lady, of course I’ll have to end today’s post with the necessary Karen Walker gif: