I hope I’m finding you well on this beautiful day.
Now, as a former 9-to-5er, I know that Mondays can be a less than pleasant experience. So today I wanted to share with you a little something that helped me look forward to my Mondays in the office, as opposed to wanting to call in sick consistently for the entire week. With my previous job starting at what I would deem the crack of dawn (I was getting up to go to work in the middle of the night, essentially) we had our first official break at 9:30am. As this is traditionally more around breakfast-time than 5am for me, my little Monday routine would consist of having a little food and perusing the NPR website. I always started at the performing arts pages and slowly moved to world news. My favorite article, however, was a little feature called “Sandwich Monday.” Brought to you by the same team as “Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me!” the weekly posts feature a team of NPR staffers, sampling the most horrendous cuisine you can think of. They are effectively the guinea pigs for mutant American fast food concoctions, complete with candid, unflattering photos and snarky one-liners. I’m sure you’ve heard that Taco Bell is serving breakfast now? Never fear, their latest review of the Waffle Taco was both informative and terrifying. I’m glad their brave souls could stomach something they described as having looked as if one “used a taco to pick up something [the] dog left behind.”
So now I don’t have to.
While I’m not entirely sure what thought process is behind their meal choices, you have to give them credit for creativity. For Christmas, they recreated the “Grinch Sandwich.” You know, the one described in the song: “a three-decker toadstool and sauerkraut sandwich… with arsenic sauce.” Arsenic sauce was not handy, so Sriracha was the most appropriate substitute. Also featured are beauties such as the Fritos chicken enchilada sub from Subway, the Carl’s Jr. Pop Tart ice cream sandwich, and the veritable Frankenstein of burgers: the McCamembert. Which is apparently an actual thing in France. Shame on you, McDonalds. Now sometimes their features are not necessarily sandwiches, but let’s be honest, someone has to try that Mountain Dew A.M. monstrosity. All in all, the voyeur and the foodie in me are both satisfied in one go with Sandwich Monday. Unlike the rest of NPR, it’s sarcastically hilarious while simultaneously lacking a filter and any sense of shame. If I can make a horrible sandwich pun- to me, it’s the best thing since sliced bread.
Now, go enjoy!