Gentlemen, We Need to Talk…

Sorry to start out on such a serious note, but there is an epidemic going around that I need to address before it gets any further.Somewhere, somehow, you’ve started to think that some of the things you’re doing are completely warranted. I am here to tell you, please stop. No one seriously enjoys this behavior. Unless you’re doing it for comic value, and then that’s a whole different story…

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about her experiences with online dating. She, of course, had read my blog concerning the Tinder App (there’s a Part II to this story, but more on that later) and vented her equally discouraging experiences with dating sites like eHarmony and Match. The disturbing trend that seems to pervade all of the technology based dating methods seems to be the obvious posed pictures- pictures taken in an attempt to directly appeal to women. I’m not saying that women don’t fall prey to taking the same photos; it’s just the lengths that some men go to borders on friggin’ ridiculous.

Take, for example, the proverbial man holding the kitten. Ok, there is a chance that the kitten is, in fact, yours. Or perhaps you’re trying to tell us that you like animals, and spend time volunteering in shelter or some such drivel. The non-cynic in me would almost believe this. But, dear readers, it gets better…

Suddenly we’re looking at the next gentleman who has, for lack of a better expression, taken it up a notch: holding kitten, shirtless. This is, without a doubt, borderline creepy. It starts to get in to “serious weirdo” territory when you have taken said kitten outside, taken your shirt off, and sat on some stranger’s motorcycle. Because we all know that that is not yours.

I’m assuming men like this honestly think that books like this one are to be taken seriously. Ladies, we all know that this man


While adorable in print, would weird the living daylights out of us if encountered in real life. Let’s be honest, now.


This is not the way life is. It’s just not. Which is why you can purchase the book and have a giggle. This is not what we’re expecting you to be. (It’s nice if you like to vacuum, though. The vacuuming part is good.)

Gentlemen, what if women reciprocating this behavior? Would you find it immensely attractive if I stood outside your house in a cocktail dress and platform heels wielding a chainsaw? No, you would call the police. Just think before you post a ridiculous photo, that’s all I’m asking. Don’t even get me started on the “Tigers of Tinder” craze. Google that phrase, I dare you! It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever encountered in actual life. It’s as if the men of Tinder unanimously decided that kittens were for girls, so the decided to cuddle tigers instead, because that’s so much more manly.


Us ladies, we don’t ask for much, really. Take a shower, wear shoes that match each other, and brush your teeth regularly. I feel like a speak for a lot of people when I say being yourself, in your own environment, is so much more attractive. Try smiling too. It really helps.

And some of you need some help, really.


Have a good weekend everyone!



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