I’m a Professional

Hello everyone!

Happy Friday! Blogtober is going in full force, and I almost feel as if my day isn’t complete if I haven’t visited Watch Me Juggle at least once.


I wouldn’t say I’m an expert, by any means, but if there was a job with any of these traits in the job description, I would be hired in a millisecond…

I’m really good at tripping going both up and down stairs. On a similar note, I’m really good at high heels. Ok, I’m decent enough at walking in them, but I can always find the most amazing bargain when it comes to shoe shopping. I found the above Pour La Victoire shoes for $11.50. That’s right. $11.50. Brand new. I win.

I can make a mean at-home latte. I’m also a professional coffee drinker, if that were a real job.

The boss lady says that while I may look pretty, it certainly doesn’t stop me from being a complete and utter goof ball; usually to get a laugh or a smile out of even the most stoic people. It makes me happy.

I’m like a chipmunk with a cheeseburger. You’ll wonder where I put it all, it disappears so fast.

Google-stalking people. I can do it.

As the infamous Jenna Marbles says: “Goo hoarding.” I excel at keeping bottles, all just shy of empty, all over my bathroom. If you need enough volumizing shampoo for a hamster, chances are I have it somewhere.

I can kill hours in thrift stores. I’m a professional Thrift Store Wanderer. I usually come out with some amazing treasures, too.

I have a knack for finding the best parking spot…approximately two seconds after someone else does.

I’m also a professional at:

  • Wearing Lululemon
  • Awkward somersaults
  • Drawing directly on my eyeball with eyeliner
  • Leaving my dishes in the sink forever
  • Staying up way past my bedtime
  • Making funny noises
  • Petting cats for hours
  • Making mimosas
  • Dancing

Add these to my resume.


2 thoughts on “I’m a Professional

  1. This was hilarious – can definitely relate to the eyeliner one because it just happened this morning. Why is it that whenever I’m running late, I can get eyeliner everywhere except for the actual eyelid??

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