Author Archives: 4evamaria

On Exhaustion

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Hello all!

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I’m sure everyone can commiserate with me when I say that last week was, well, one of those weeks. Despite my usually flexible schedule, I felt a psychotic obligation to cram as much as I possibly could in to each day. I had to do something. Every. Single. Minute. While scheduling as much as I could into each 16 hour period I was awake, proved to be quite productive, it left me with a distinct feeling of mind-numbing exhaustion. The kind of tired-feeling that is so pervasive you’re even too tired to sleep properly. After living in this destructive cycle for a while, I was just going through the motions. My normally perky self was relegated to simply looking for an opportunity to sit down whenever possible. After dragging myself to ballet class repeatedly, I found myself leaving early before the grand allegro (the big, traveling jumps at the very end of class),which is usually my favorite part. Ever watched a small child try to resist sleep? The staggering around, wandering aimlessly, incoherent mumbling- it was a state had become my life all of a sudden. Oh, and any kind of bad news left me on the verge of tears, regardless of where I was or who I was with. That happened too.

There have been many psychological studies done on the link between insomnia/exhaustion and creativity. Proust, Emily Bronte, Vladimir Nabokov, and many others struggled with insomnia that attributed to a few of their published works.  While I can’t claim to be even nearly as prolific, you, dear readers, have previously heard about my struggles to create new work under pressure. Miraculously enough, the days that I’m the most exhausted often turn out to be some of my more creative. Despite the fact that I’m teaching more than I’m performing as of late, there is still quite a bit of ‘performance factor’ that goes in to teaching each class. Students will mimic your energy; if you teach a class with the semblance of being “bogged down,”  it infects the whole of your work. On the other hand, there’s often this phenomenon of overcompensation that occurs, and you somehow end up teaching the best class of your life or churning out dances like it’s no big deal. This year has undoubtedly been one of the most creatively productive years of my life. Aside from this little blog situation I’ve been nurturing, I have choreographed 8 group dances, a solo, and collaborated on a duet this year- not bad, so far. I’m awfully tired, though. I’m hoping that I can make a concerted effort to relax more this week since my schedule has slowed down a bit. I’m really looking forward to spending a Monday evening in, perhaps with a glass of iced tea, a good book, and an early bedtime. It should clear all manner of ills.

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Thanks for reading, everyone. I’m still astonished at how many of you do!

Love,

EVA♥ 

Five Things

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Hello everyone!

I can’t believe it’s Wednesday already! I decided that, for this week’s Five Things, I would add a little theme. I know a common therapeutic exercise for when you’re feeling down is to create a simple list of the things you’re grateful for in life. For most people, it becomes quite obvious just how many things you have in life to be happy about. So you can stop crying about how some boy doesn’t like you (or whatever inane problem you have at the time) and live your life with a sense of contentment. Problems solved, ladies!

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If any of you know me, even remotely or just through my blog, you already know how grateful I am for food. This afternoon, I cooked up a big bunch of chard straight from the garden to serve alongside some pasta. I love food for all the practical reasons, (sustenance, energy, etc.) but also for the fact that food is comforting, delicious, and can bring people together.

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I’m so grateful to have a job doing what I love. I recently had a dream that I was a victim of some horrible accident that left me unable to dance. Morbid, I know, but I can’t tell you how relieved I was when I awoke to find that it was only a dream. Not only do I get to do what I love, but I have amazing coworkers, and I get to see these little dancers and their antics every week. Ok, now this is just a humble-brag, but whatever. It’s true. I’m living life as an artist and I’m very lucky.

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I have some very gorgeous, fabulous friends (unfortunately, not all of them are pictured here). They hold me up no matter what, and they’re more like family to me, really. The only unfortunate thing is, I’m not sure I could ever be grateful enough to have them in my life. They’re a pretty fantastic bunch. Thanks for being around, ladies.

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I’m grateful that I’ve gotten to travel to some obscenely beautiful and amazing places. I’ve been able to fly around the world, hike up many a dormant volcano, dance on the Great Wall of China, and spend Christmas stomping through the snow in Austria. I’m just getting started! Up next is wine tasting in Mexico, walking on the beaches of Thailand, and learning how to make bread in my grandmother’s kitchen. On her wood-burning stove in Austria, of course.

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And lastly, I know it might seem silly, but I’m grateful to have a morning cup of coffee in a place that finally feels like home. Bonus points for my home having a little purple bathroom I can call my own! I moved around so much after college, it got to a point where I was afraid to settle down, to unpack my suitcase, and be content. I literally spent over a month sleeping on an air mattress because I was too frightened to go out and buy real furniture. True story. I’m so grateful that I learned to let go a little, and that things often do work out for the best.

One of my most favorite people of all time, Miss Audrey Hepburn, favored a little poem by Sam Levenson entitled “Time Tested Beauty Tips. So I leave today’s blog/exercise in being grateful with this:

” Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.”

EVA ♥

May Flowers

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Hello all!

IMG_1568Bunches of beautiful ranunculus. The delicate, cabbage-like blossoms remind me of mini-peonies. Their little alien stems have a mind of their own, though…

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A little known fact about me is that I had a brief stint in floral design, back in the day. I’m sure you all can agree with me when I say that there’s just something about flowers. As a child, I imagined that working in a florists’ shop would be the most relaxing and pleasant job ever, and I was right (for the most part). Usually flowers accompany celebratory occasions: weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, but occasionally you are greeted with: “My girlfriend’s barn caught on fire, and her horse died. She’s pretty upset.” True story. Unfortunately, we did not have an equine specific condolence card for the poor gal but I threw together a bouquet that I hoped would cheer her up a bit.

I’ve never been the person with the green thumb, but I’ve always loved having flowers in my home. Like most artistic endeavors, working with flowers turned out to be a difficult way of making a living, but I so enjoyed it. Over the years, I tried to retain all the little tricks I learned in the business; what season is best for each flower, how to cut them so they last longer, and how to artfully arrange them in any type of vase. I learned not to be afraid of mixing nontraditional flowers and greenery together. Yes, that actual stalk of kale looks beautiful with those roses. Mix strange colors together, it will work itself out. Gathering flowers for a bouquet is intuitive, if anything. Everyone will have their own way of doing things, and what constitutes a “good” bouquet is entirely subjective. When in doubt, throw in some fresh herbs (mint is my favorite) to liven things up. Learn to choose wisely: flowers like stock and alstroemeria are inexpensive, last an incredibly long time, and are a great way to bolster any arrangement. If you want something full and beautiful, but don’t want to break the bank, throw several bunches of alstroemeria together. They’ll last for at least a week, if not longer. 

One of the best “insider” tips I’ve ever received was from a woman at Pike’s Place Market in Seattle. In preparation for my friend’s wedding, we dashed to the flower section of the market in the search for any blue-toned flowers we could find to bolster the pew markers and centerpieces. When she learned of our attempts to jerry-rig wedding flowers, she told us that mixing a bit of crushed ibuprofen in the water would boost any flower’s staying power. Refrigeration also helps tremendously. Then again, I am also the sort of person that keeps their bread in the fridge, so there’s that…

Get out their and enjoy all the spring blossoms everyone! It doesn’t have to be a special occasion, just another day to treat yourself.

EVA♥

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

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It’s that time of year again- Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

While this year the holiday sadly falls on a Monday, there’s no reason why all of us can’t interject a little celebration in to our routines! I had fun looking back at a Cinco de Mayo celebration in infamous Dolores Park that my girlfriends and I had last year. This particular day is distinct in my memory, because it also happened to be the day my dear friend Brooke announced to us over Facetime that she was expecting! I got especially squeaky over the news that I was going to get to be some little bean’s crazy aunt. It was a beautiful, but windy day, so we packed up a delicious picnic (courtesy of Trader Joe’s!) and headed over to the city. Somehow, I’m not exactly sure why, this park allows all kinds of behavior that would otherwise be frowned upon anywhere else in San Francisco. This “anything goes” mentality also makes it amazing for people watching, because suddenly, somehow, this park abides by the same laws as Las Vegas. Just make sure you don’t sit next to the group of nudists, and keep an eye out lest you get smacked in the face by a wayward hula hoop. Oh, and please use the public restrooms. That is the only time I’ve ever seen anyone be reprimanded by the police for their behavior there.

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Cheers to a beautiful view!

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The lovely ladies lunching.
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Needless to say, we had a lot of fun…

This particular holiday also marks the creation of a signature cocktail, which was brought on by the discovery of decent white wine in a box. In honor of the holiday, we called it: Cinco de Wino. Yes, very creative. Now, if you’re a wine connoisseur, you’ll want to stop reading. If you don’t mind adding saccharine, artificial things to your beverages, you’ll probably enjoy this. It’s a sangria on-the-go!

Over ice, simply combine white wine, pink lemonade (we used instant, Crystal Light powder…) and a sparkling beverage of your choice. In this case, it was lemon flavored sparking water, but you could potentially substitute your favorite soda, or even a sparkling wine. The ratios depend entirely on your own preferences, so experiment away!

It’s the beginning of summer marked in a glass. Or, if you’re resourceful/environmentally friendly, in a reused Starbucks cup! We’ve created many iterations of this drink over the year, and it’s quite portable and delicious. Again, if you’re a purist, you could certainly make this a more “highbrow” cocktail. Just….eliminate the powered, concentrated ingredients and perhaps substitute limoncello? It’s really up to you. Now go and enjoy!

Happy Monday everyone!

EVA ♥

Gentlemen, We Need to Talk…

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Sorry to start out on such a serious note, but there is an epidemic going around that I need to address before it gets any further.Somewhere, somehow, you’ve started to think that some of the things you’re doing are completely warranted. I am here to tell you, please stop. No one seriously enjoys this behavior. Unless you’re doing it for comic value, and then that’s a whole different story…

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about her experiences with online dating. She, of course, had read my blog concerning the Tinder App (there’s a Part II to this story, but more on that later) and vented her equally discouraging experiences with dating sites like eHarmony and Match. The disturbing trend that seems to pervade all of the technology based dating methods seems to be the obvious posed pictures- pictures taken in an attempt to directly appeal to women. I’m not saying that women don’t fall prey to taking the same photos; it’s just the lengths that some men go to borders on friggin’ ridiculous.

Take, for example, the proverbial man holding the kitten. Ok, there is a chance that the kitten is, in fact, yours. Or perhaps you’re trying to tell us that you like animals, and spend time volunteering in shelter or some such drivel. The non-cynic in me would almost believe this. But, dear readers, it gets better…

Suddenly we’re looking at the next gentleman who has, for lack of a better expression, taken it up a notch: holding kitten, shirtless. This is, without a doubt, borderline creepy. It starts to get in to “serious weirdo” territory when you have taken said kitten outside, taken your shirt off, and sat on some stranger’s motorcycle. Because we all know that that is not yours.

I’m assuming men like this honestly think that books like this one are to be taken seriously. Ladies, we all know that this man

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While adorable in print, would weird the living daylights out of us if encountered in real life. Let’s be honest, now.

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This is not the way life is. It’s just not. Which is why you can purchase the book and have a giggle. This is not what we’re expecting you to be. (It’s nice if you like to vacuum, though. The vacuuming part is good.)

Gentlemen, what if women reciprocating this behavior? Would you find it immensely attractive if I stood outside your house in a cocktail dress and platform heels wielding a chainsaw? No, you would call the police. Just think before you post a ridiculous photo, that’s all I’m asking. Don’t even get me started on the “Tigers of Tinder” craze. Google that phrase, I dare you! It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever encountered in actual life. It’s as if the men of Tinder unanimously decided that kittens were for girls, so the decided to cuddle tigers instead, because that’s so much more manly.

STOP. IT.

Us ladies, we don’t ask for much, really. Take a shower, wear shoes that match each other, and brush your teeth regularly. I feel like a speak for a lot of people when I say being yourself, in your own environment, is so much more attractive. Try smiling too. It really helps.

And some of you need some help, really.

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Have a good weekend everyone!

Love,

EVA♥ 

Five Things

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Happy yet-another-Wednesday everyone!

I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying the unseasonably warm weather here in the Bay. It’s a beautiful day out and it seems everyone is out and about. This unfortunately meant I couldn’t make my ballet class this morning, yet I’m still optimistic about getting some dancing in today. So, without further ado: 5 things!

IMG_1550It was such a nice day out yesterday, so I decided to treat myself to the most sophisticated popsicle I could find: Gelateria Naia’s Bar Gelato. My new favorite is undoubtedly the Blue Bottle Coffee. It’s the adult equivalent of a pacifier. If only I had someone to shove one of these in my mouth when I woke up every morning. It might actually make me a morning person.

IMG_1518On my “lost” adventures in San Francisco last week, I stumbled upon a really curious fragrance line by the name of “Replica.” It’s goal is essentially to produce fragrances that replicate specific environments and the sense memories associated with them. My favorite had to be Beach Walk. Delicious.

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A t-shirt, also discovered during last week’s wanderings about. Light as a feather, and so random…

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Look! It’s a beautiful sunset with the beautiful city on the horizon.

Ending on a lighthearted note, I leave you with this:

 I adore comedian Jim Gaffigan. I also agree with many of his food-related tirades. If you enjoy this, I highly recommend you watch his stand-up “Beyond the Pale.” He’s the kind of non-offensive comedian you can tell your parents about and not be wildly embarrassed. Even better, if you have cool parents, they’ll understand.

EVA♥

Instant Staycation

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Hi everyone!

There’s something about certain foods and behaviors that I associate with being on vacation. The connection I often fail to make is the fact that one does not necessarily have to be directly on some tropical beach to get their hands on a mai tai or fresh pineapple. You also don’t need to be even remotely on vacation to forgo pants for a dress, wear less makeup, and bust out a fabulous fake tan. Now, I’m lucky enough to live 2 minutes from the nearest beach, so I really have no excuse. This, I decided to have a little “staycation” of my own. Inspired by this delicious looking recipe on Refinery29, I made a dash to my local Trader Joe’s the minute they opened. I armed myself with pineapple, strawberries, some coconut milk, and chia seeds before running home. Until recently, I found chopping up an entire pineapple a daunting task, but it’s really quite easy and requires little skill. Simply twist and pull off the “stalk,” and cut along the top, bottom, and lengthwise until your pineapple resembles, well…a pineapple. Pair some cold pineapple hunks with some fresh coffee, go out on your porch (if you have one) and enjoy the sunshine. It’s one of the best breakfasts ever. While I was feeling ambitious today, I also whipped up some chia seed pudding, which could not have been easier. You literally need only two or three ingredients:

IMG_1540Mix 1 cup coconut milk,  1/4 cup chia seeds, and a little something sweet. I love the flavor you get with Orgeat, but you could also use plain old sugar, agave, or honey. Let the mixture sit for a few hours so the seeds can absorb the liquid, and voilà! You have pudding. It’s magic, and good for you! 

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I chopped up some strawberries to add on top of the finished pudding, with some pineapple on the side, of course. In future, I’ll be sure to make this in the evenings, so I can enjoy it first thing in the morning.

To improve your staycation experience, I recommend bringing a little bit of that vacation atmosphere to your home. I’m a fan of Slatkin and Co.’s Coconut Water scented candle. It’s a non-offensive summer scent that’s not too overpowering. Throw a little sea salt spray in your hair (I love the below version from Lush) and maybe a little Hawaiian Tropic and you’re good to go! Should you be in the position to get a little sun, do so safely! Wear sunscreen at all times, even when trying to get some color. I love the Maui Babe Browning Lotion for this, but only for short stretches of time. An all-over burn is never a good look, and we don’t want to look like a used handbag in our old age. Last but not least, if you’re looking for a quintessential summer fragrance, check out Bobbi Brown’s Beach. It smells just like it sounds: the perfect combination of sunscreen, salt, and jasmine- very light and clean.

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Vacation is a state of mind, really. I use it as a mental reset- a way of pulling myself out of the more banal aspects of my routine. There’s no reason you can’t take that sense of calm with you when you leave. While finding time to relax may not be the easiest thing sometimes, it’s such an essential part of life.  At the very least, take advantage of that sunshine and eat something delicious. You sort of owe it to yourself.

EVA ♥

Storytime

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Hello all!


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I must say…I had great ambitions for today. Long-winded things I wanted to write, a ballet class I wanted to attend, and, at the very least dishes that I needed to wash. Yeah, none of that is happening at the moment. I did, however, manage to get myself out of bed despite the feeling that my right eyeball might explode. Too graphic? Perhaps. In other words, if you turned up the volume on the morning talk show I usually enjoy watching, I would divulge any government secrets I might have. Ouch.

Mind-numbing headache aside, I’m feeling nostalgic and in an effort to keep things lighthearted, I’d like to tell the story behind my the picture on my blog’s banner (above). Things looked rather plain on Watch Me Juggle without it, but the moment I put it up, I got questions: “Wait…you’re not juggling in the picture?” No dear readers, I am not literally juggling, but let me explain.

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Last summer, I flew to Hawaii with two of my dear friends. Both seasoned travelers and former airline employees, they helped me navigate our standby flights from Oakland to L.A. continuing on to Oahu. Midway through our connecting flight, Rachel turned to me and confessed that all the flights to Hawaii are not just full, they’re overbooked. Even better, she and Jessie are about 15 people ahead on the stand-by list. Whereas I, unaffiliated with any airline, am on the bottom; making the likelihood of getting on the flight of our choosing slim to none. I had a better chance of crawling in to the wheel well than getting on the plane. We met Jessie in LAX, who exclaimed “At least we’re not stuck in Bangladesh!” I laughed, until she explained that she has, in fact, been stuck at the airport in Bangladesh. By default, LAX is beyond luxurious.  Looking back, we had as pleasant of a layover as could be expected: dinner, some time with family, and an early morning dash back to the airport in the same clothes we arrived in. I would have, undoubtedly, been not as calm had I been traveling with anyone else. Having said that, I had to make a concerted effort not to accost other fliers on the standby list ahead of me in an attempt to better my chances of getting on the desired flight. I had a vacation to get on with, after all. Against the odds, I was twelfth on the list for a plane with three open seats left, and I somehow ended up with a ticket. Sure, I ran at the gate attendant like a fugitive escaping the country disguised in a little girl party dress, but I was on! I reveled in my budget-conscious travel skills next to a family that instead chose to celebrate their vacation with rum and cokes before 8am. I, not to be outdone, managed to get my hands on a mimosa (because that’s how classy adults drink in the mornings).

Ok, you get it, I went to Hawaii. What about the photo? Well, while in awe of the dayglo palm trees and tropical weather, what astonished me the most was the water. As we made the winding trek from the Honolulu airport to the North Shore I couldn’t stop talking about the water and the beaches along the highway. They were so clear, so blue. Even the air there smelled different. Then, Rachel asked the question: “If I stopped the car, would you get in?”

“What…?”

“If I stopped the car, right now, would you get in the water?”

Of course I would. I can’t say I didn’t second-guess myself as soon as she pulled the car over. The lava rocks did look awfully precarious, but I scrambled down them, crab-like, managing to catch the edge of my dress on one as two local fisherman a few feet away looked on in amusement. I almost felt the need to give a disclaimer, but I guess they could tell that the pale girl in the polka dot dress was out of place. Standing in the thigh high surf, my dress wet, I pretended I was all alone, just for a second. It was easy to do. With my friends waiting for me in the car, I spun around a few times in triumph, my hands over my head, as if I’d flown all the way there of my own volition. As I get older, I hope that becomes the kind of thing I do more and more. Namely, whatever I want, not giving a damn of what other people think. I might not really be able to juggle, but who cares? I can try anyway.

EVA♥

A Day in Pictures

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Hello everyone!

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Our bulletin board. Filled with letters and drawings from students.
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Waiting for the glue to dry on my shoes. Rather tedious.
IMG_1527This blurry photo is generally indicative of how I feel at the moment.

Today was rather eventful. (In a good way, of course) Aside from sitting down for a delicious breakfast this morning, I’ve spent my full day in dance studios. Don’t get me wrong, this is absolutely no cause for complaint.

Recently, I came across a post on Facebook announcing that Smuin Ballet would be having an open rehearsal to kickoff Bay Area Dance Week. Seeing as half of the DAP family dances with Smuin, there was no way that we would miss it, and took advantage of the opportunity to surprise them. It was fantastic to see the dancers up close, and to get a behind-the-scenes preview of their spring program, featuring Michael Smuin’s “Dances with Gershwin” and a world premiere from Val Caniparoli. Little did we know, we also made an appearance on Smuin Ballet’s instagram account, complete with a candid shot of the lovely Miss Erin yanking on her shoe. Funny enough, a former student of mine recognized us in the shot, and sent us a screen capture: “I see you!” We clearly look thrilled, but I assure you, it’s a look of concentration.

Following a rain-soaked dash back to the Dance Arts studio, the director, Micheala, and I decided to rally with some cups of coffee and…sitting. Despite the dreary weather, I made good progress with choreography though not without a headache. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to keep dances straight, as they so often want to blend themselves together in my memory. I’m luckily that ballet attracts such bright girls- I rely on them more than ever as we get closer to our show. Plan B is that they run in a circle until I can get the movement sorted in my head. (Only kidding.) In all seriousness, you don’t know pressure until you’ve stood in room with 25 pre-teens staring at you, waiting for your next move.

Have a good weekend everyone!

EVA♥