This post is long overdue and highly requested- I’m going to preface this by saying that it will most likely be one of many.
On some days, working with kids can be exhausting. They can involve “puddles,” runny noses, and attitudes. I’m sure any parent or teacher knows this all too well. On the other hand, it can also be extremely rewarding and so much fun. 95% of the time, it is the latter. So, I wanted to take some time and share with you some of the highlights of my teaching career. Now, this post isn’t so much about watching my students progress, or getting misty over them growing up. It’s more along the lines of documenting the amusing word vomit that comes out of them on a regular basis.
Now, I touched on the ever-flattering question I get asked frequently: “Miss Eva, are you a kid? Or a grown-up?” Their curious little minds can’t help but pry further. I was 14 when I was first asked if I had any children of my own. I had to make the offending little dancer repeat herself multiple times before I could even begin to grasp what she was asking. I have also been asked the following, usually in rapid succession:
“How OLD are you?” (As in: you’ve been dancing for 20 years? You must be friggin’ ancient.)
“Are you married?”
“Do you at least have a boyfriend??”
A little redheaded dancer came running in to class one day and asked me: “Miss Eva! When’s the BLAY class gonna start?” Bless their little speech impediments.
This same dancer once forgot my name and chose to refer to me instead as “Ballerina-teacher.” I gladly accept this title.
As is tradition, every winter we put out our vast collection of nutcrackers for the kids to admire. Upon missing them, one dancer asked our director “Hey Miss Michaela! Wherethecrackers?” It took us 10 minutes to figure out that she was not asking for food, but inquiring as to the location of the nutcrackers.
Kids also frequently enjoy volunteering information at random. In the middle of one of my classes a little girl once blurted “My mom’s hair isn’t really blonde!” Like she had been dying to tell someone, and could no longer hold it in. They love to tell on their classmates/parents.
“Susie isn’t here because she had to go to the doctor to have her independence out.”
Appendix. Appendix. I would be frightened if her parents had her independence medically removed.
“My daddy calls me ‘Hot Dog.'” (This was in response to me asking if she had a preferred name that she goes by.)
“My mommy’s boobies are bleeding!” To be fair, mommy had just had a baby. But I believe the other children in class are now scarred for life. Because your boobies can bleed.
“I’ve always wanted to be a dancer, but I’ve gotta be honest. Lately, it’s looking more like journalist or pop-star.” They have lofty career aspirations, don’t they?
One of my favorite classics include a little boy we had years ago, who had obviously just learned the difference between boys and girls. When prompted to go into the men’s room at break-time, he shouted:
“IS THAT BECAUSE I HAVE A PENIS??”
When this was affirmed, he followed this up with: “Good, because I don’t like looking at vaginas.”
To be continued.